I am so upset with myself. I weighed 235.4 ...

I am so upset with myself. I weighed 235.4 pounds on April 8 of last year and thought I was doing well. Then I noticed my pants were getting tighter again, but I was too scared to get on the scale. During a lot of this last school year, my car was working, so I wasn't walking the 4.5 blocks there and then back home and I was eating too much in the school cafeteria. I was afraid to go to the clinic and step on their very accurate scale, because I knew I had gained back weight and had slacked off on exercise. All sorts of excuses ran through my head, but when I stepped on the scale a few weeks ago and saw that my weight was almost back up to my heaviest ever, I was totally mad at myself, but more importantly, ready to do something about it. Arlen gripes at me about my weight and I know he means well, but griping doesn't help. His weird eating habits these last three months don't help, either. My kids try and Damian threw down a birthday present challenge over Memorial Day weekend, as in "if you lose 35 pounds (now amended to 25)by my birthday (August 20), you don't have to buy me a present. SO, I was motivated, but I kept losing and regaining the same 5 or 6 pounds in June. Now, this month, I am doing much better.I take my diet pills every day and they help a lot. I know a lot of people don't like them and think they are a crutch, but I wasn't doing very well without them and I can take this time to learn to redo my lifestyle and how I eat. I am keeping a food journal, started that on Monday. I saw a diabetes nurse educator yesterday and that was eye-opening and educational and I am determined to exercise more, move more,and get this weight off.